To All the Disney Moms Out There- Just Let It Go!

I’ve been taking my children to Disney World since my first child was 5 months old. Fast forward almost six years later, and here I am, trooping around Disney with a 4 and 5-year-old. I blinked and the years have just flown by. As much as I wish I could stop time and have them be like this forever, I can’t. What I could do was stop spending so much time and energy on things that don’t matter, and focus on being present and in the moment with them. 

I don’t know who invented the term, “the struggle is real,” but I’m confident it was a mom. It was probably a mom who felt judged and was most likely at the end of her rope. Or maybe it was a mom who woke up and started her day with the energy of Mary Poppins, but by the time she laid her head on her pillow, Mary was gone and Maleficent had shown up. As moms, we tend to carry the burden of making sure our children are having the most magical childhood, and we often forget our kids would be happy just running through a sprinkler or building a fort out of pillows. It’s been my personal experience that going to Disney World used to add so much more stress on my shoulders because I allowed it to. That was until I decided to channel my inner Elsa and just let it go. 

I found with myself that I wanted so much to capture these perfect moments in the parks, that I would over plan everything. I would make sure we all matched and everyone always looked camera ready as we strolled through the park. I would plan out matching outfits for all or most days of our vacation. I’d spend so much time scrolling through Etsy looking for the perfect family shirts, thinking that’s what would make the trip and the memories. As nice as that is, and I still try to match at least one day, it doesn’t make or break your trip. I decided that I would stop focusing on matching and focus more on finding out what my kids wanted to see and do. The last few trips have been so much easier and less stressful to pack for because my mind isn’t working like I’m planning runway shows at Fashion Week.

This lightbulb moment I had, where I decided to just let a lot of this stuff go, happened on our trip in October 2019. For the second time as a family, we were going to Mickey’s Not So Scary Halloween Party. Star Wars is huge in our house so we decided to go as characters from the movies. My boys already had a Darth Vader and Storm Trooper costume, my oldest decided I would be Rey and his dad was going to be Han Solo. The Spring and Summer before this Halloween trip, my kids insisted on wearing those costumes all day, every day in the parks. These costumes are the ones from the Disney Store which are great quality, but are made from a thick material and are super hot. I let them wear them in the parks during the Summer months, always with a change of clothes because as much as they knew best, mommy knows better. After Launch Bay, they wanted out of those costumes and I was there with shorts and a t-shirt for them. There was not a question in my mind that in October, they wouldn’t want to wear these costumes. We were ready, or so I thought. 

Our Not So Scary weekend was here and we were ready to transform into a Star Wars family. Never in my life had I spent as much time on a costume for myself, as I had that Rey costume. I even looked up tutorials on how to re-create Rey’s hair and makeup. Up until he laid down for a nap that day, my oldest kept talking about all of us in our costumes, which reassured me that there wouldn’t be an issue. As I was doing my version of Rey hair, I had visions of these great family photos we would be taking that night. We would all be matching, in front of the castle, dare I even say- we could use one for our Christmas card? 

The time came to get my kids ready. My youngest hopped right into his Darth Vader costume. With pride, he took owned the power of the dark side. My oldest, my cute little Storm Tropper, wanted nothing to do with his costume. He looked at it like he had never seen it before. I tried to reason with him, but with each beg and plea, those visions of cute family photos started to vanish from my mind. “I don’t want to wear it, it’s too hot,” he told me. “Jack,” I said, “You wore this costume all day during our trip in July. In fact, you laid yourself down on our resort room floor because I wasn’t going to let you because mommy said it was too hot, and you insisted you wear it.” He just shook his head and said, “no thank you, mommy, it’s too hot.” I looked at my husband, and at that moment he had to snap me back to reality. He assured me it was fine, we would bring the costume just in case Jack realized how much fun he was missing out on and without a doubt he would want to put it on once we got into the park. Boy, were we wrong. 

We made our way to the Magic Kingdom for Mickey’s Not So Scary Halloween Party. I would ask Jack a few times if he wanted to put his costume on and still no interest. I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t making me a little upset like someone had taken the air out of my Mickey balloon. At one point we found ourselves on the hub grass near the castle, and someone offered to take a family picture of us. Before I could say, “no thank you,” my husband said “Yes!” I rolled my eyes, rounded up my two little ones and we posed in front of the castle. Of course, I wanted a family picture, but it wasn’t the one I imagined. I looked at my phone after it was taken and my boys had the biggest smiles on their faces, they were genuinely just so happy and in their favorite place with all the free candy they wanted! It occurred to me that I was putting so much unnecessary stress on myself about getting the perfect picture or what I thought the picture would be, that I almost missed a chance to take a photo with my family. Turns out, it’s one of my favorites of us and every time I look at it, I think about how Jack practically wore holes in that Stormtrooper costume months before but wanted nothing to do with it on that one night. The one night it was acceptable to dress like a Star Wars family in the Magic Kingdom. It brings a smile to my face and I’m so grateful for that moment. It made me realize I had to just let it go, and roll with it. It was my lightbulb moment. 

As moms, we tend to over plan and want to make everything perfect. Then, here come our kids, telling us otherwise. Once I moved on from my son not wanting to wear his costume, and let go of that perfect picture I had in my head of us in front of the castle, I was able to have fun. I was able to be in the moment with my children, as they trick or treated down Main Street and throughout the park. I was able to sneak some of their candy, without them even noticing! 

When our parents took us to Disney World in the ’80s and ’90s, there were no social media sites, there were no smart phones. The only piece of technology we took with us was that giant video camera my dad carried on his shoulder, as he tried to capture our family memories. Our parents made it through these trips with out Memory Maker and all the magical extras we have as parents in the park and our trips weren’t any less magical. If anything, our parents being present and in the moment with us is why my siblings and I still reminicse about our Disney family vacations every time we get together.

Parents, especially us moms, let’s just start thinking, “What Would Elsa Do?” We know what she would do, she’d let it go and not care what anyone else thinks. Maybe this struggle we talk about, won’t be as real as we claim it to be, once we just let our guard down and have some fun. Some real, unplanned fun. The fun you don’t have to plan 60 days out from the day you check in. Trust me, It’s only when I learned to let go of all expectations, that I was able to truly be the Disney mom my three boys deserved. There’s beauty in the letting go.